Hi Gillian and everyone
What a week it’s been. My head has been all over the place. My friend joined ww and I must admit I got caught up in the pull of it all…suddenly it was all about weight again. But…This is a big but…I didn’t embrace it. I made the conscious well informed decision of saying no. What it did do for me was to allow me to really feel what restriction means, what denial of choice means. Once I said no I felt the peace and calm of allowing free choice. I can eat what I want I have free choice. It is liberating…and every conscious decision to eat something is guided by how will it make me feel in my body (indigestion, bloated, sick). Recognising AD is becoming easier and most of the time I’m able to work through it and vocalise what’s going on.
I’m weaning myself off the scales. I’ve weighed twice since 1st Jan and I face my AD to weigh every day, but am working through it. It’s hard to put into words how surrendering to no rules, no diets and free choice is so liberating and comforting. It’s a step in self trust and acceptance and even self respect.
Someone mentioned Gillian’s “Eating Less” book on the webinar last time. I’ve had it on my kindle for years and not read through it. So I started to read it and it’s made things clearer in my head. It’s also made me realise I was never ready for change years ago when I bought the book. I couldn’t get past the weight issue. I am learning so much more and I know I’m ready for change now too. I know I’m still bothered by my weight but it is becoming less and less and it’s more about how I feel.