- This topic has 8 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 months, 1 week ago by Corina.
May 11, 2021 at 8:49 pm #14182CorinaParticipant
Everything you say makes sense to me.
But this topic of prohibition!!! What a hit!!! I will write a little more than I would otherwise do, because this word is the definition of my life!
First, you hit DEPRIVATION, which is my life long feeling, then, when you summarized week 2 in the webinar, the word BACKGROUND next to mindset did it for me, and I will explain: I look decently good and healthy. I am not here to lose weight. I never stopped myself from eating, due to not being able to stand deprivation. BUT …I am a food addict since I’ve been born, maybe even before. Although I pretty much eat when and what I want, my BACKGROUND MINDSET IS: don’t eat, you eat too much, you are fat, you have a belly, and much more. These are my mother’s prohibitions since I was 3 years old. I was always told that I’m fat and I shouldn’t eat, although she cooked a lot, and sure, sweets. I am not blaming her. I know better than that. What I am saying is that you are validating my intuition/insights of many years. I came in with a sense that food controls my life and doesn’t let me fulfill my deepest creative, desires in life, and I found the link: food is my mother, and I am not yet free from her, despite many years of therapy. But now I am clear. And it is the most difficult task of my life, and the answer to my self-inquiry : Why don’t you want to give up emotional eating, Corina?
May 12, 2021 at 8:50 am #14189GillianKeymaster
Great comment, Corina, and thanks for posting.
Just to add a little coaching, when you think about “giving up” emotional eating, notice this assumes future choices; it’s final and for always. So “just for now” will be useful to apply.
May 12, 2021 at 5:40 pm #14253CorinaParticipant
Gillian, that’s brilliant: “giving up” emotional eating, notice this assumes future choices—- yes, it does, but I didn’t see it until you mentioned it. I plan to go back to the exercise and write down all Prohibitions and Prohibitive thoughts as a list, then add: Just for now I choose to… (ex: relax around food)
A question related to this: How do I apply “just for now” for ex tomorrow, when I have to be in my office longer than usual hours and I want to bring food with me, as I usually do, do I tell myself: These are my choices for today, for breakfast and lunch? “Just for now” could mean “just for this day” I choose to eat this…( food brought from home) and I am free to eat it all, less, none, or add something else from a nearby market?
May 12, 2021 at 6:50 pm #14255GillianKeymaster
With your first point about writing “Just for now I choose to…” do take a good look at the Week 3 content first.
As for applying “just for now” in terms of a long day in the office with food for the day brought from home, I don’t think you can go wrong by asserting your freedom of choice at any time.
However, I’m wondering if this is an example of a situation where you would expect to overeat? Thinking in terms of “just for now” instead of “giving up” is of particular use when it comes to taking control of overeating (eating less). I did suggest in the last webinar to work on one thing at a time to begin – so is this your one thing?
There’s so much more to cover in the course, Corina!
May 14, 2021 at 2:50 am #14291CorinaParticipant
I wonder if I’m the only one, I don’t really think so: Working on one thing is not ease for me, I want to do it all at once, “binge’ ahead on the course.
My main thing is the morning interruption of creative work with food, and I decided to start on Monday, but I am free to choose tomorrow morning.
Today I chose the work day- eat less or not. To my surprise I brought a lot of food back home. My choices are better, and the hypoglycemic states disappeared due to progressively better choices following allowing myself to eat whatever I wanted.
Yesterday I applied the working through my addictive desire to turn on the radio in the car, substitute for the phone!!!! Same pattern of food substitution. It worked. I felt empowered.
So, I give myself permission to explore, change my mind, use “just for now”, all under the intention to heal and allow the life force , in the form of food, nurture me. I don’t believe it can happen, but just for now I act enjoy the renewal of hope I feel right now.
May 14, 2021 at 8:17 am #14303GillianModerator
I’d be interested to know, Corina, if you ever think of yourself as a perfectionist – either in general or specifically in terms of eating? If so, there’s more coming in the course about that.
For right now, though, just be willing to be on a learning curve with it all, and I’m loving your enthusiasm especially about freedom of choice (which is a concept that certainly lights up my own life).
May 14, 2021 at 6:41 pm #14312CorinaParticipant
Definitely a perfectionist in general! on and off, more or less, but yes!
I am so excited because I feel/sense/ understand deeply-in my body, this chronic lack of freedom, which is inherited from culture, family, then I perpetuated it through the prohibitive thinking and reactions of rebellion to it… my life story…so you bet it’s exciting. Life changing = greatest non-weight benefit.
May 15, 2021 at 10:45 am #14328GillianKeymaster
Just a little note that, “working on one thing is not easy for me, I want to do it all at once” might be coming from (influenced by) a perfectionistic way of doing things.
Just something for you to keep in mind, because it’s very common.
May 15, 2021 at 11:10 pm #14338CorinaParticipant
Yes. You nailed it! I see the link. Rules and regulations keep the perfection going. Perfection is my background mindset.
Yesterday I realized that my prohibition is: You should not eat. Period.
As I felt and said before, I am ready to go very deep in my healing. A result of many years of work on myself, finally getting closer to the deepest pain and the eating/food/nurture related to it! food is life: a life of slavery or a life of freedom. It may sound dramatic, but it is so life-giving!
I can’t wait for week 4, FREEDOM, thank you, Gillian, and all of you who ask questions!
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