Realization about desire

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    • #10177

      Hi all – I had an epiphany this week about my addictive desire to go out to eat (instead of eating something healthier at home). I thought I would share in case it’s helpful to others and because it was such a shift in my mindset.

      For the first time in the longest time, I ate lunch at home most days this week – even though I had multiple easy opportunities to grab fast food instead. That in and of itself is a huge success for me. But the biggest thing is that I saw first hand that I could have some amount of desire and still choose to eat less!

      For so long, I’ve had myself convinced that I had to get rid of ALL desire for unhealthy food. I wasn’t supposed to want it and I needed to just shut down that desire. So I’ve been feeling like a failure because the desire hasn’t disappeared and I didn’t know how to deal with it other than to just make more rules for myself. I just wanted to excise the part of my brain that likes soda and sugar and fast food and be done with it. I thought that was the only way to truly find peace with food.

      What I now realize is that I can be successful at “eating less” even if I still have some desire for these foods! There’s nothing wrong with thinking they taste good or have some level of appeal. I don’t have to wait and wait and wait for the desire to disappear completely. I don’t have to feel like a failure just because that desire is still around. Instead, the desire just has to get small enough that I can acknowledge it, while also seeing all the other reasons (outcome/non-weight motivation) that I’d rather not overeat.

      The first time I thought both things at the same time and still made the decision to eat less – it was almost mind-blowing. I thought, okay, getting a fast food lunch does sound a little good, but no, it’s not worth it to me right now, I’d rather save the time/money/regret and just eat something healthier at home this time. Knowing I could change my mind and make a different decision tomorrow was a big part of that and so I didn’t feel like I had to eat out just to prove I could (something I often do). That was huge for me. I know I have much work ahead, and at other times the addictive desire will be stronger, but this was a great awakening for me in shifting my mindset about desire.

    • #10178

      Wonderful, Jessica.

      Thanks for posting this and I’m sure will be useful for others.

    • #10179

      Hi Jessica,

      Thanks for your post, I found it really inspiring and like you the idea that I can either feed or feel my desire now in no way limits what I might do in the future is really (unexpectedly) liberating.


    • #10298
      Renée L


      Your post was so helpful and powerful. I have had many shifts since starting to incorporate the themes into my food choices, some more slowly than others, but one of the largest and most impactful shifts I have had is how I talk to myself now. Put another way, I have a very different type of conversation with myself which helps me uncover my authentic, intended outcome.

      It’s not perfect by any means, but the incessant nagging cravings, nightmarish obsessions, and compulsive drives to act automatically have really faded quite a bit. I feel like I am finally on the other side of things, so that when my AD pops up, it feels strange rather than how it was before.

      Please keep sharing! I love to hear how everyone uses the techniques and learn a lot from everyone’s insights.

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