March 10, 2020 at 12:37 am #5498LeslieParticipant
Thursday was my first REALLY rough day in awhile. Then I made a firm decision on Friday to get ‘back on the program’ and struggled with rebelliousness. It felt a little prison-like, but I ‘succeeded’ and felt so much better on the weekend. This was new, generally my binge/overeating lasts for a few days (or lots more).
After the crazy swirling feelings during an unconscious-like binge episode, does it make sense to (if I want) get clear and firm and is that bound to feel more rigid? Basically: is it a good approach as one of the strategies I can use? Is it ever effective to decide ahead of time?
March 10, 2020 at 8:05 am #5499EstherParticipant
I’m only commenting as I’m sure Gillian will give you the most comprehensive reply :
I understand where you are and I think it’s really positive that the binge hasn’t lasted as previously !
Not sure if it helps but I prefer to see rigidity as “taking a stand” as it feels less restricted?
Well done on succeeding in what sounds like a familiar (to me) and difficult situation 😊
March 10, 2020 at 3:10 pm #5500GillianKeymaster
Leslie, it looks like you’re already understood that “a clear and firm commitment to get back on the program” is counter-productive as it denies choice and puts you back in the cell.
A lighter touch is better, and I suggest setting a Time between 30 mins and 3 hours, depending on what would represent a bit of a challenge for you. Then figure you’ll have some addictive desire during that period of time and form an intention to notice and work it though when it happens.
When you’ve got a Time in mind and you are not actually eating, then you can say, “so far, so good”.
March 11, 2020 at 12:15 pm #5501LeslieParticipant
Thanks, Gillian. I’ve reread this several times. It’s definitely a new way of thinking that is slowly sinking in. So, instead of waking up in the morning (after a binge period) saying, ‘I’m really going to work on getting back on the program today,’ I can set a shorter time and say to myself, ‘I’ll notice addictive desire and work with it during this Time.’
Is that it?
Esther, your comment about ‘taking a stand’ being a helpful reframing of rigidity is great – thanks!
March 11, 2020 at 5:07 pm #5504GillianKeymaster
Yes, Leslie, that’s it.
As far as overeating is concerned, it’s always best to make your choices in the present moment, and not to predict or assume how you’ll respond to addictive desire.
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