Rewatching video on choice, see waterfall or go back to the hotel

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 months ago by Cyndi B..
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    • #14434
      Cindy
      Participant

      Gillian et al,
      I am rewatching the video where Gillian illustrated choice in a non-food example of taking a walk and making a decision about going to see a waterfall or going back to the hotel. As I was re-watching this I had this realization and I wondered if anyone else could relate to it. Even as inert as the example is, I would still experience the decision to go back to the hotel as “bad” and have a “should” about going to the waterfall. This tells me that my judgement and denial of choice extends beyond food. No wonder free choice is a challenge for me. I have been a perfectionist and judger all my life, cracking the whip on myself and assigning credit for my successes in life to this behavior. No question here, just an observation. I appreciate your time in reading this and commenting if it resonates.

    • #14436
      Stephanie D
      Participant

      Thank you for sharing that Cindy. Yes. For me too. This perspective of “must” “have to” “whip cracking” (as you say) is in many areas of my life too. I saw something similar while doing the exercise in 4.5 MORE FREEDOM – video 15m + more question– I noticed the same thing. The exercise is

      For brevity, let’s take all of these and condense them into,
      “If I own my choices about what I eat…”
      The phrase, “own my choices” is short-hand for any or all of the “what ifs…” above.

      Now, complete that sentence in five different ways. Here are some simple examples:

      … I won’t eat the leftovers from my children’s plates.
      … I’ll eat less processed food.
      … I’ll eat less.
      … I’ll feel a lot better about myself.
      … I’ll feel in control.

      I was looking at this one….
      “If I own my choices about what I eat…”

      And then I noticed my mind went over here:

      “If I own my choices about what I accomplish at work…”

      and

      “If I own my choices about how I keep house…”

      Someone in one of the testimony videos (I think it was the woman with the pretty long gray hair and maybe a blue shirt) she said “Now I look forward to using the method on other areas of my life” or something similar to that. So you’re right, it does transfer. I’m excited to “stay focused” on the relationship with food and eating less because of all the benefits.

      One big motivation is I’d like to clear up the skin on my face. It’s a mess. And I notice when I eat healthy foods, my face doesn’t flare up as much.

    • #14443
      Cyndi B.
      Participant

      Haha, yes- I also felt anxiety around that hike/lake analogy. “But which one is best choice… can I see tomorrow’s weather forecast?”

      And, yes- I’m likely on the compliance spectrum. I just keep looking out for it, and figure if so to whatever degree, the way is not around it but through it. This feels kinda relevant to that: I noticed I didn’t have any sweets in the pantry, where as for the past year of no dieting there’s regularly been some chocolate. My past dieting style included a lot of avoidance… and suddenly not having any sweets in the house felt like diet mentality/ no-choice creep. So I bought some chocolate in case I decide to eat some. Is that the “right” thing to do… I dunno; Ill see.

      Yeah, Stephanie, about recognizing prohibitive thinking beyond food choices… As I was petting someone’s cat (Ozzy!) yesterday, I told them I was a cat lover but “COULDN’T” own one currently. As I walked away, I thought something like “That’s not true.. I absolutely CAN have a cat now.. I just DECIDED a few months ago that the time wasn’t right. Maybe I will get a cat soon.. or not, but I truly CAN get a cat if I want.”

      • This reply was modified 4 months ago by Cyndi B..
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