- This topic has 6 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 2 weeks ago by Monica G.
June 7, 2021 at 8:36 pm #14743Monica GParticipant
Hello Gillian and everyone. Again, thank you for being such a great group, despite not having all our photos up! I will try to upload one later.
I have been thinking about this a lot, and this might just end up being a bit of a ramble, so my apologies in advance. I can’t stop thinking about how I got to this situation of addictive eating. Why did I do to get to this point? I have read your stories (thanks for sharing!) about how for some of you this started in childhood. My story is so odd though (or is it?) – I was born one month early in the 70s and didn’t eat for the first 4 years of my life. My mum suffered tremendously with me. I just couldn’t keep anything in. I would either spit it or point blank not eat. At some point, the doctor told my mum I would not make it. I don’t remember this time of my life as I was very young but there are lots and lots of photos of me with a piece of bread or biscuit in my hand – my parents always trying to make sure I had something available but I just wouldn’t eat! Of course, I must have eaten something because I did make it (mainly milk and soft boiled eggs). That was my diet for 4 years. Then in my teenage years I started to eat, a lot. I have been 5’9″ from age 13 (so, I did make it!). And since having children my weight has fluctuated from a healthy weight to a bit overweight. (I did make it!). My poor mum, now in her 70s, can’t believe that I am a bit overweight after the trauma she had with me when I was little. Now she is the one telling me to lose weight, how ironic!
So… it’s not about the weight. Of course, I’d like to go back to be a slimmer. But it’s mostly about the addiction to food. How could that happen to me! How can I find myself so out of control many times! Something Gillian said in week 5 really put me at ease.. “Don’t think you are doing anything wrong by having this addictive mindset. This is part of the survival system, your brain trying to keep you alive and to get you to eat”. This is huge for me. Thanks Gillian.
And I don’t think I’m trying to compensate for what I didn’t eat when I was little or that anyone is reminding me of that. I know that my addictive eating is purely to address my emotions – bored, tired, happy, sad…
It’s just such an odd turn of events for me. I just had to share it. Sorry for the long rant. No need to reply, although would love it if anyone has anything to tell me. I just needed to express my feelings to this wonderful group. Thanks all.
June 8, 2021 at 9:05 am #14744GillianKeymaster
This is interesting, Monica.
It may be a coincidence, but I’m struck that you were photographed not eating bread or a biscuit, while surviving on milk and eggs. Babies are born in the state of ketosis, and mother’s milk supports that, being low-carb-high-fat (LCHF) in its macronutrient content. So most of us are introduced to carbohydrates at some point later on.
It’s often said that some people do very well on high-carb-low-fat and it makes sense to me that there is wide variation from person to person. I’m wondering if you might be someone who would do particularly well with LCHF and you ‘knew’ that from birth?
Plus, carbs would be more addictive for you, as they are for a great many people.
June 8, 2021 at 8:33 pm #14747Ann CParticipant
What an interesting story and yes, so ironic.
I wanted to reply because what resonated with you about our addictive nature is actually a survival mode,also resonated with me. I have felt copious amounts of shame about my inability to eat normally, I was ashamed of this addictive desire to eat in large quantities. Hearing that this may just be a ” natural” response made me feel a bit better!
And I also wanted to say the Client stories this week were BRILLIANT! The teacher who realized eating was the ONLY thing she had to be perfect with made me laugh out loud! She never thought ” I have to get a new job” or ” give my daughter to someone else” because she is not perfect made me feel like we are soul sisters! That was me completely!
I also ” have conversations” with myself every time I eat now. It has helped me with my planning.
So glad this is available to me for a year. I will continue to watch regularly and I appreciate the ” speed up” recommendation.
June 8, 2021 at 10:22 pm #14748Monica GParticipant
Thanks Gillian for your comment – that might be true, that I “knew” what was best for me. That is very reassuring. Can I clarify something please? Would carbs be specially more addictive for me given what I have shared?
June 9, 2021 at 9:38 am #14755GillianKeymaster
I believe there can be an added kick to an addiction that comes from our physical reaction to something hazardous. Probably a release of adrenaline and/or cortisol to fight the insult to the system, and this increases our ‘high’ from it making it more addictive.
Cigarette smoke is a great example, containing over 400 poisonous chemicals (at last count?) So yes, it’s the nicotine we get addicted to, but any amount of nicotine replacement (including vaping) doesn’t fully satisfy the desire – and that may be the reason.
HOWEVER, you are by no means alone in being sensitive to carbs, assuming of course that is the case. Many people these days recommend LCHF as – at least for most of us – our bodies are best suited to mostly grain-free food. There are some videos and books about this in READS AND VIEWS at the bottom of the Course Dashboard if/when you want to learn more.
June 9, 2021 at 8:14 pm #14756Monica GParticipant
Thank you, Gillian. That’s so interesting and now that you say it, my body does not react very well to grains, bread, etc. and I noticed this as a teenager too. Of course, being Spanish, I love bread and it’s a staple in our diet but I find myself eating less and less (almost none at the moment) and I feel so much better. I know that is the case for many other people but it might explain it in my case? I will look at the books and videos about this. Thank you!
June 8, 2021 at 10:28 pm #14749Monica GParticipant
Ann, thanks for your comment. It’s good to hear that it resonated with you too. Gillian’s way of explaining things and the perspective from which she teaches us to overcome our AD is so unique. We need to be kind to ourselves and remember that we are not doing anything wrong. We will get there, I am sure!
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