start tomorrow

[jodi bParticipant]

Gillian,

I am listening to the week 5 videos on mindset. I just binged really badly, I had a delicious dinner, my husband went to bed and I just started eating more after finishing my dinner, which often happens for me. when I’m alone, distracting myself with a book playing on my phone, I binge. Is my cue that I’m alone? I usually binge with a distraction like listening to a book or zoning out to T.V. I often follow the “I don’t care, I’ll start tomorrow” idea, for me it is usually, “I have already blown it for today so I may as well eat everything I possibly can now and start tomorrow, or on the next auspicious day.” I am sitting here trying to figure out what the trigger was for me to start binging tonight, and then to not stop and keep eating until terribly uncomfortable. It seems the harder I try to use tools to stop the binging behavior, the worse it gets. I have had a couple of times where times and plans have worked, or helped. Perhaps since I didn’t purposefully think about a plan for dinner tonight my addictive self took over after noticing an open invitation to eat everything in sight? I don’t understand why I continue rebelling so badly? is my eating disorder afraid that I may have found something that could actually help me? Is this just my habits or cues? I notice that I generally binge on the nights before I am off from work the next day, as I know I will feel awful and foggy headed the day following a binge. I’m not exactly sure what I’m asking, I’m just fed up and tired and want so badly to be able to put what you are teaching me to work in my life. It makes so much sense to me. I am not expecting to be perfect, but I want so much to have success with eating a normal dinner and not eating beforehand because I’m hungry after work and then picking while preparing the meal and then binging after the meal. You mentioned not writing down my plan for dinner, is there another way to help reinforce it? Thanks for your help.

[guadalupeParticipant]

Wow Jodi! Sometimes I am in the same point as you are. Thinking on “im start tomorrow”, maybe is diet culture we have really inside us..
Or maybe is something that we need to practice, and incorporate the new tools to become a habit and the brain make the new ways itself.

[GillianModerator]

Hi Jodi

“I am sitting here trying to figure out what the trigger was” There’s not a lot of value in that; you may never know the cue, and it doesn’t make much difference even if you do. Often there are many converging cues: on your own, after dinner, off work the next day, etc, etc.

I wonder if this is about rebelling or if it’s more about not addressing, accepting, coming to terms with your addictive desire? Or perhaps Working Through when the desire is easy and brief but not when it’s stronger?

You ask if there’s another way to help reinforce your Plan for dinner; I’d say, Working Through Desire. This is the application of the technique.

If you come home after work and are hungry, why not eat something? You could Time and/or Plan a good snack. Then, you could deal with your desire while preparing the meal, as it seems to be part of the ‘out of control’ quality you say you’re fed up with.

Let me know if this makes sense!

[PaolaParticipant]

Hi Jodi and Guadalupe,
What you say totally resonates with me. I look forward to seeing Gillian’s answer to your question, but I wanted to share a little tip which sometimes helps me when I am in that situation.
When I have a lovely dinner and I know it was an adequate amount of nutritious food, I sit down quietly and I tell myself something like “Well done, this was a very balanced meal, good protein, carbs, healthy fats etc., so I DO NOT NEED ANYTHING ELSE. Anything else I want to eat in the next hour/two hours etc is just my addictive desire”.
I find that when I do that before I start to binge, I find it easier to stop myself. It doesn’t always work, but even if it works 10% or 20% of the times, then it’s better than nothing.
Have a great day!

[lara wParticipant]

This is a wonderful topic for me. I relate to everything said, including Gillian’s advice to work through the addictive desire. For me, it’s going to take some time. I notice that I’ve been doing very well working through that desire sometimes, like for two days, and then yesterday, the desire just crept up on me and I ate 2 bananas with peanut butter while I was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. I had just eaten a very satisfying meal, and the addictive desire was there, but I failed to recognize it in time. Patience, compassion, and equanimity need to come into play, giving myself recognition when I practice the “ working through” part, and perhaps fail to practice it every now and again. I always have a choice! I have a feeling that I’ll eventually work through the addictive desire more and more often until it becomes a part of me.

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