Strong Addictive Desire

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    • #4571
      Lucy
      Participant

      Hi Gillian,

      I have suddenly started getting really strong urges to overeat in the evenings again and I’m not sure why….I am not able to work through them and have caved in the last two times and have had a rather defeatist attitude about it… feel very disappointed in myself. I’m still asserting my freedom of choice etc and haven’t been too aware of prohibitive thinking but I have been stressing about my weight which doesn’t seem to be changing at all despite me eating a lot less over this last month or more…its so frustrating and I cannot help but think about this…Any tips please?

      Oh and I have been indulging in small festive treats here and there so I suppose this also maybe ramping up my addictive desire? I can feel a “so what” attitude creeping in and its a bit scary…I don’t want to blow it!

      • This topic was modified 12 months ago by Lucy.
    • #4575
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Hi Lucy

      Sometimes the prohibitive thinking isn’t all that obvious, while the signs and symptoms of it are certainly unmistakable! There’s the “so what” attitude creeping in and really strong urges to overeat. Also, when I spoke about lowering carb intake during our webinar last Sunday, your reaction was say you’d feel deprived without potatoes. You then said that was coming from your ‘all-or-none’ thinking, but it was coming from your prohibitive thinking, which is a different concept.

      It’s very common for a focus on weight to create a sense of prohibition, which then leads to overeating, as I’ve explained.

      My suggestion is for you to revisit Week 2, especially the two “Solutions” videos. However, from the Freedom exercise you did (under the Week 5 replay video) it looks like you have a tough time seeing your prohibitive thinking. My only suggestion there is to set up a one-to-one with me some time, as I can only help you with that through a conversation.

      Let me know if you have any questions.

    • #4579
      Lucy
      Participant

      Thanks Gillian, I shall watch them again and see how I go. I bought Chris Kresser’s book the Paleo Cure because there is evidence it can be helpful for Auto Immune conditions and its a way of eating that is quite close to how I like to eat anyway, but maybe just the thought of reading it has made me slip back into prohibitive thinking. So again a another chance to revisit and assert the 3 Themes, its easy to get complacent when things are going well!

    • #4580
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      OMG, Lucy, much as I adore Kresser, that book of his could create a prohibition mindset for sure, as it’s a very serious elimination process. I can appreciate you want to be well, but maybe it will be good for you to slow down a bit? Is it just about one month since your crazy out-of-control binge life?

      Perhaps it will be best for you to appreciate where you are now, and how far you’ve come. Discover how much imperfection is right for you, and maybe where you have overdone it, as you suggested. This is the important fine-tuning and making it all personal to you.

      May I recommend as a next step when you’re ready, Kressers’ free downloads – I mention in “Reads and Views” – and take it in as information, which you might not act on for a while.

      I hope this makes sense!

    • #4581
      Lucy
      Participant

      Gillian, thanks yes it makes very good sense and I will heed your advice to slow down, this is so typical of me, trying to do too much at once. I’ll tell you what else seduced me into buying it as well as the health aspect was the fact it said you can lose 10lbs in a few weeks on Paleo ~ tempting!
      I am finding it SO hard to not think about weight at the mo, I’ve been eating so much less it doesn’t make sense that I’m not losing, how do I just accept my weight?

      Many thanks.

    • #4582
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Lucy, I’m not sure what you mean by accepting your weight, so don’t have an answer for you on that one.

      In Week 1, one of the Solutions I put forward is to remind yourself of your non-weight motivation any time your attention gets drawn to the issue of weight and weight loss. It looks like you’ve got plenty of non-weight motivation in terms of recovering your health. This is excellent.

      It seems your major obstacle in moving forward with that is your sense of prohibition. What will make all the difference for you is to deal with that by declaring and asserting your freedom of choice.

    • #4588
      Lucy
      Participant

      Hi Gillian…what I mean by accepting the weight is accepting that I don’t seem to be losing any despite eating a lot less for at least 6 weeks now. The Addictive desire has quietened again, it was pmt that was making things a bit difficult! So I do have lots of non weight motivation which is helpful and I remind myself of them regularly when I think about weight BUT its only natural to want to lose some weight as well, and I haven’t shifted even a pound, (yes I weighed myself just the once!) it doesn’t make sense, I eat healthily the majority of the time and my portions are smaller, why isn’t the weight moving?

    • #4590
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Hi Lucy

      The interesting thing is that you followed a calorie-controlled diet earlier this year and lost a considerable amount of weight. This suggests you’ve got a fairly good idea of how much to eat in order to produce that sort of result.

      So what could be different this time around? The only explanation that makes sense to me is that you are now more insulin resistant, perhaps (at least in part, and maybe a large part) due to the dieting earlier this year.

      Most of us become more insulin resistant as we get older, which is why it becomes easier to gain and more difficult to lose as we age. Dieting can certainly accelerate this; and is one reason why “dieting makes you fat”, as is so often said. Loss of lean mass would be the main contribution with this.

      My own view on what to do about this is to eat food with a high nutrient density, low carb and high (good) fat. That’s what I do, and you can look into that or not. It’s entirely your choice, both to give it a try, and to continue (imperfectly, of course) if you find it of benefit.

    • #4591
      Lucy
      Participant

      Yes thats right I did follow a calorie controlled diet and like you say I have fairly good idea of portions etc. I do eat high nutrient density and good fats and middling carbs (and then they are only potatoes, root veg and a small amount of fruit, nothing processed) but I’m obviously eating too many calories somewhere along the way. I know you suggest calories don’t really count but if I was to monitor them over a few days to see where I’m going wrong is that dangerous ground? If I do it in a way that lets me see I am choosing to do this for a short time and that I don’t have to continue or do it perfectly?

    • #4592
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Lucy

      “I’m obviously eating too many calories somewhere along the way.” This is not necessarily true, as I explained in our last Q&A webinar, adding the quote that calories only matter “…if you’re a toaster oven.” Remember?

      I truly, in my heart, believe that the way to lose weight is to prioritise your health. But it needs to be sincere; not buying a book on healthy eating because it promises weight loss. And, as I said before, that particular book with the elimination diet would be a huge challenge, as I think you know.

      If your aim is to lose weight, then you count calories. If your aim is to restore your health, then you learn how to become more insulin sensitive, for example. Perhaps IF and/or ketosis for periods of time. There are many details here and they are beyond the scope of my course. The information is available, though.

      My guess is that the overeating you did in the past did some damage to your body and it may take a while to heal. Counting calories will not help you with that.

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