- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 months, 2 weeks ago by Gillian.
March 11, 2021 at 2:25 am #12695natalieParticipant
I’ve been trying to improve my understanding of choice and reminding myself i can choose to eat this/that now/later.
i had a challenging experience recently. i had spent the day exercising choice when i felt desire to eat and doing well working through addictive desire – maybe i was complying but it felt ok so far.
anyway, my husband came home with a croissant that was given to him by a colleague and he brought it home to share with me. (i don’t discuss my progress with the course with him at this stage, given Gillian’s advice.) This is not something that happens very often and i think this added to what happened for me.
I knew i had a choice to eat it if i wanted to. but what happened was that i immediately thought, “I’m going to eat this”. no time to feel an addictive desire and work through it before making this decision.
i did try to attend to the desire and work through it but i knew my decision had already been made.
is this a common experience? what does it say about my “prohibition” and rebellion?
thanks for sharing any thoughts with me,
March 11, 2021 at 9:24 am #12697GillianModerator
I understand your concern, but half a croissant isn’t likely to be an expression of rebellion. Rebellion would more likely be, “I’ve blown it by eating half a croissant so now I’ll finish off all of the breakfast cereal, then get the cheese out of the fridge… and there’s that cake I was saving for Sunday.”
When you get to Week 6, you’ll see that the croissant you shared with your husband is exactly the sort of thing I strongly recommend! I recommend it so that you don’t develop a relationship with food that is too rigid and perfect.
So, well done! And, do you ever think of yourself as a perfectionist, at least with eating?
March 12, 2021 at 6:23 am #12714natalieParticipant
thanks Gillian. good to know that it wasn’t necessarily rebellion and also about rigidity being not so good.
i’m thinking about the perfectionist bit – i think you’re right, i’ve never really thought of myself as a perfectionist with food. but i’m realising that i definitely go into the “of i’ve busted, that’s it for the day” thoughts and end up bingeing. well, i did in the past but am not doing it now. Making progress, I hope!
i know the addictive desire will come up more strongly again, but i’m getting used to the process of noticing it and working through it. sometimes i will eat something desired and sometimes i’ll choose not to for now. i’m also being less critical of my body.
i expect this will get harder when other cues come up for me?
March 12, 2021 at 9:40 am #12717GillianModerator
“I expect this will get harder when other cues come up for me?”
Sorry, Natalie, but this is impossible for me to say as I’ve no idea how hard it has been for you, and no idea how much you are connected with the three themes of motivation, choice and desire.
Excellent that you’ve noticed your perfect, “all-or-none” mindset in the past. It’s very helpful to let that one go.
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