- This topic has 9 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 months, 3 weeks ago by Julie Mann.
July 28, 2020 at 8:56 pm #8857Julie MannParticipant
I had the most enlightening session with Gillian today. (Sidebar, I highly recommend having one if you are able. She is just brilliant (as you already know) and every time we talk I come away with a completely new set of insights and understandings.)
One thing she reflected to me is that my posts here can often sound as if I’m really struggling when the truth is that I’m really doing quite well.
And as I am soon to turn 50 I am ready to leave all the old stories behind me, and tell a new one!
So here’s a great story to share. I’m a teacher and my school is located in Queens, NY, and it’s a school for new immigrants. And our community was hit very hard by COVID. I’ve been quite worried about whether or not we will return to work in the fall or continue with distance learning. I prefer the latter because I don’t feel safe commuting by subway nor do I feel safe being in a school at all because you cannot socially distance in a school (in my opinion). And my partner is immunocompromised so if I return to commuting and being in school I cannot see him.
Today my principal had a meeting about our proposal for the fall and I used Gillian’s suggestion of being on high alert for addictive desire. Sure enough, at lunch and after lunch, before the meeting, I started thinking about eating. And I was able to call it out and recognize the desire for what it was, and calmly get on with my day. Then I attended the meeting and felt the tension in my body and let it be there. It waxed and waned and it might continue to resurface as we were left with more questions than answers. And I will remain on high alert at dinner. I will plate my food and expect the desire for more and then take a stand knowing that food holds no answers to my returning to work nor will it assuage my anxiety.
Lastly, for you all, I thought about this wonderful song by Carrie Newcomer and wanted to share it with you as we all create new stories for ourselves with Gillian’s help!!
July 29, 2020 at 3:12 pm #8861GillianModerator
“…my posts here can often sound as if I’m really struggling when the truth is that I’m really doing quite well.”
That does seem to be a perfectionists’ trait, to focus on the one thing that’s not right and ignore the rest. Remember our aim is to overeat less – not never. AND, there may well be some changes you still want to make.
Thanks for the song!
July 29, 2020 at 3:33 pm #8864Julie MannParticipant
Hi Gillian. Yes, I like to be in a state of learning, evolving, growing all the time. So yes, it’s not about perfection, it’s about overeating less. Thank you!!
July 29, 2020 at 6:42 pm #8866Anne MarieParticipant
I love, love, love this And have been a fan of Carrie newcomer’s for a long time but I haven’t thought about this song in relation to what we are learning in this course… Thank you for the link!
It is inspiring to read of your progress and I cheer you on in favor of distance learning. I am lucky enough to have my own business and I can work from home and teach from home… My husband too.
This is a good example of me of anticipating addictive desire and going with the flow of it for better or worse… For better!
July 29, 2020 at 7:09 pm #8868Julie MannParticipant
Hi Anne Marie,
Oh thank you both for the acknowledgement of the power of anticipating addictive desire, AND cheering in favor of distance learning. How great that you and your husband can work from home. Fingers crossed over here.
Finally, I have another chance to practice this evening. I just got some weird blood test results which are making me feel a bit anxious. I will be on high alert this evening and take a stand again! And I have last night as evidence and a reminder that I know how to do this very well!!
Have a great day,
July 30, 2020 at 9:00 am #8870LouiseParticipant
Love your strategy Julie, so good to have a plan. I saw my ex last night, usually a trigger for drinking, eating and general carousing (we get on very well) but I knew it was a risk, and had a Time and Plan in my head. Now that I have done it successfully in that situation, I know it won’t be so hard next time.
July 31, 2020 at 3:36 pm #8874Renée LParticipant
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and for the very timely and powerful reminder to be on “high alert” around my AD.
I have started to re-listen to the course material and find it so fascinating how my brain can very easily “forget” the information that I find so inspirational.
Good for you for remembering to consider all the positives, and to take into account that you are doing well. I forget that too, and can be so hard on myself.
And finally, thank you for sharing Carrie Newcomer’s song! I have been a fan since the early 90’s, when she was still in the group Stone Soup. I had friends in West Lafayette, IN, who were friends with her, and met her several times and saw her perform several times. She is amazing.
Although the two Stone Soup albums are out of print, some of the music is available on YouTube; Google “Long Fields” and “October Nights” and be prepared for some of her best music!
Here’s to a great start to our weekend.
July 31, 2020 at 4:53 pm #8875Julie MannParticipant
Oh wow, thank you for the recommendations. I will check it all out for sure. And how great that you got to meet and see Carrie Newcomer sing live.
And yes, it’s easy to forget to expect the AD, which is why this group is so wonderful, and having access and being able to re-listen!!
Have a great weekend!
July 31, 2020 at 5:06 pm #8876Renée LParticipant
You can listen to three of the songs here; True to You is my favorite!
July 31, 2020 at 5:37 pm #8877Julie MannParticipant
Beautiful!!! Thank you!
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