The addictive desire may be gone, but I am still overeating

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    • #2230
      Larissa
      Participant

      Hi Gillian and all,

      I’ve been working with/through the compulsive desire and there have been several inctances when the desire subsided and has been gone and I seem to be in control and feel no hunger and no compulsive desire to eat, but still go and have snack or something, i.e. overeat again as I’ve just eaten recently.
      Is this where I have to make another go at “pause, breathe…” exercise? But what is there to be named? The desire is gone completely.

      Hope it makes sense and you know what i’m talking about.

    • #2234
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Larissa – what a great question – thanks for asking.

      Assuming this is addictive (over) eating and not a genuine nutritional need, when you go and have something to eat, your actions are being driven by an addictive desire. I think your addictive desire seems to have ‘gone completely’ because it’s because it has changed into a much more subtle experience, so it seems to be gone.

      So it started out huge, you “Worked Through” and in doing so reduced the intensity by regulating your limbic system. But it’s still there, and so you (over) eat again.

      Be patient with this, don’t worry too much about it when it happens, but know there is an addictive desire if you are going to eat something. Look for it even if it’s a tiny thought.

      Please let me know if you have any questions, or this doesn’t make sense.

    • #2239
      Ciara Z
      Participant

      Hi Larissa, I’m experiencing this too to some degree. I’m grappling with the idea off addictive desire, but I think I’m over analyzing it. I often want just one more piece of bread, cheese etc, and I allow myself to eat it. But it’s not as impulsive as before. It’s not an intense craving, just a gentle ‘want’. However, I’m wondering is this addictive desire being sneaky? If I continue to snack/pick then I’m not actually eating less at all. And maybe this is just habit. Am I actually still hungry? It’s such a labyrinth!

    • #2241
      Larissa
      Participant

      Thanks, Gillian. It does make sense, thought it’s kind of difficult not to worry too much as I’m sure I’ve put on some weight in February.

      Hi Ciara, thanks for sharing. Good to know I’m not alone in this mind/addictive desire game! 🙂

      See you tonight!

    • #2321
      Caroline
      Participant

      Yes I’ve been doing this too. Have gone through the process and thought ‘yep, get all that but I’m choosing to have it right now ( every time) just in a less frenetic way. It’s seems that’s not really addressing the depth of addictive desire. Understandable I guess if the hard wiring is 30 years in the making and reinforcing

    • #2452
      Larissa
      Participant

      Morning Gillian and all!

      Guess my addictive desire to eat has found yet another way to justify (over)eating: when I do not want to eat at all and think to skip dinner, it drills my mind with “you have to take a pill, it has to be after meal, you’ve got to eat something”. And this will go on and on untill I am unwillingt planning to comply and have and apple or tangerin, but when I do eat, it’s a sandwich…

    • #2469
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Larissa, I wonder why you would want to skip dinner, especially when you need to take medication at a meal? Do you think that this is one more way that your exclusive interest in weight loss steers you in the wrong direction?

    • #2470
      Larissa
      Participant

      Hi Gillian,

      I’m not sure, either this or I may be in compliance once again like last week when I didn’t want to eat at all for the whole day long and was forcing some food in in order to take medicine.

    • #2601
      Alice
      Participant

      Isn’t this where Times and Plans can be helpful, where the addicitve desire has become quite subtle, not the compulsive, stressful experience it once was, but you still want to eat more than/before you had planned? If you “just” want to eat “one more” bit of cheese, bread or whatever, but your plan was just one slice of bread and you know that was, objectively, enough food, then it’s addictive desire and you can work through it using the steps on the slide. Is that the idea?

    • #2611
      Larissa
      Participant

      Thanks, Alice. It’s definitely an idea. I also came to it and have been trying to put it in practice for about a week. Times work real good and easy for me, but Plans… I want to make them, but sort of go “forgetful” before my meal and realise only afterwards “oops, I did it again.” I keep trying though, surely one day I’ll remember in time to set a Plan.

    • #2613
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Larissa, if you forget to make a Plan when you begin your meal, you can always make one as soon as you realise, even if you are three-quarters of the way through, and even if you’ve already eaten too much.

      What’s helpful here, too, is to develop the habit of checking in with uourself, “How will I feel after I’ve eaten this?” – always, before eating anything at all. Of course it’s still a matter of remembering to do this, but once you develop the habit of asking this, you’ll have it for life. And that is SO useful.

    • #2616
      Larissa
      Participant

      Thank you, Gillian, this is a wonderful suggestion to ask myself all the time how I will feel afterwards. Because I seem to eat with my eyes and when I see food in front of me “I want it all, I want it now!” It’ll be good to pause, breath and ask about afterwards.
      Thanks again!

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