Threatening myself

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    • #3417

      Thank you for your reply to my previous question Gillian; that is really helpful and something I can implement straight away. Apologies for another question so soon, but this one occurred this morning when I was going through the 5 steps.

      One of my biggest motivations relates to the feeling that working through my desire to overeat on one occasions will make it easier not to overeat next time. I use this especially when I am in a specific situation where I always eat addictively. For example, I listen to The Archers Omnibus on Sunday and eat croissants with jam and cream addictively. To help me work through this desire, I remind myself that if I choose to eat addictively in this situation, I will always be faced with the same problem, every time The Archers is on. I tell myself that reinforcing the desire will make life more difficult for me when I try to control my overeating in that situation. I think I developed this way of thinking when I used your technique to stop smoking (20 years ago – it worked!). I would remind myself that if I smoke, I might never be able to stop.

      So, my question is whether this motivation is a form of coercion, or threatening myself, or whether it is a legitimate motivation?

      Thanks again (sorry for the long post).

    • #3420

      Thanks for your question, Louise. It seems to me that you are motivated not to overeat in this situation, and if it’s working – especially if you aren’t feeling deprived or rebellious about this – that is the proof you’re doing it right, if you see what I mean. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

      It seems to me there can often be an element of threat or coercion in making these changes, sort of: “if you don’t stop doing that, then…” This would be an inevitable factor in stopping smoking, and not eating (so much) junk food. It’s a matter of degree, though, and taking that on board together with some positive motivation, a good sense of free choice, and acceptance of addictive desire.

    • #3428

      Thanks Gillian! Yes,that sounds right. When I think about it,I am not feeling rebellious or deprived when I use that motivation, so at the moment, as it’s working well for me, I will carry on with it. Thank you again; just needed that bit of reassurance.

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