Times and plans, getting it right, perfectionism?

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    • #12444
      Carla
      Participant

      Hi Gillian, everyone,
      I’m concerned that I have a niggly feeling that I’m not sure if I’m getting my times and plans right, that somehow I’m getting something wrong?
      My main concerns are;
      Times, is 2 hours too soon, should I set a longer time ? (I’m sure Gillian said that’s fine but I doubt myself here).
      Plans, if I’m choosing/ planning to eat 3 small biscuits with my tea, is that a bad plan/choice, I know they are not the healthiest snack for mid morning?
      I have a feeling of doubt about wether I’m making the right choices?
      Only yesterday I felt I was getting this but today I feel I am doubting myself.
      Also, I did hop on the scales this morning and no loss, I know this isn’t helpful, I just couldn’t stop myself;f, so is my focus wrong?

    • #12445
      Sophia G.
      Participant

      Hi Carla, I’m working thru it all myself so I’m not really qualified to say, but you did ask ‘everyone’, and I guess no-one here is qualified apart from Gillian.

      So, as you ask ‘us’, I’d suggest to experiment with your Times and Plans. Try things out. Though 2 hours sounds fine to me. The times are meant to be mainly for us to recognise your Addictive Desire when it surfaces, before the Time is up. So if 2 hours works for you, that’s great.

      But you could experiment with different Times as well – why not! But up to you. It might be interesting and useful to try.

      If you have a plan to have 3 biscuits later with your tea, my understanding is that that is not a ‘Plan’ in the way that Gillian uses that term ‘Plan’. It would however be an intention – which is not as firm as your Plan which will come next.

      When you make your ‘Plan’ is when you sit down with your meal/snack, or as close to that moment
      as you can, and at that moment, ideally with your plate or dishes in front of you, that’s when you finally decide on the ‘Plan’. And that Plan, e.g. 3 small biscuits, is what you are aiming to stick to.

      And 3 small biscuits sounds great to me. That’s really a small amount, isn’t it?
      In the past, in my common everyday binging mode, I have had 2 or 3 packs of Penguins straight after each other. And the rest.
      So your 3 biscuits is really reasonable and fine in amount, isn’t it?

      But I expect you’re thinking more in terms of ‘bad carbs’ rather than the number of biscuits. In time, later, when you feel you are on top of things more, you might genuinely prefer something else instead because the very addictive nature of most biscuits has difficult consequences as we all know.

      But I would stick to your fave biscuits for now because that is what you really fancy, and later you could fine tune things or change your snack choices to something else yummy but more helpful to stick to – if you want to.

      We can’t do it all at once, and I think it’d be a good idea to get some degree of control without trying to change everything.

      I weigh myself too, a couple of times a week. In my mind I really do know, and frequently remind myself, that my health is more important, but I still like the idea of getting slimmer. We are only human, after all. As long as we try to resist doing it too often, I think. I know my non-weight motivation is more important.

      Hope this helps.

      • This reply was modified 5 months ago by Sophia G..
      • This reply was modified 5 months ago by Sophia G..
    • #12450
      Gillian
      Moderator

      Carla,

      You have a good answer from Sophia here, but just to add something, it seems to me that when you say…

      “Plans, if I’m choosing/ planning to eat 3 small biscuits with my tea, is that a bad plan/choice, I know they are not the healthiest snack for mid morning?”

      …you are considering improving the quality of the food you eat – and that could be an excellent step forward for you now. Is that right? If so, there’s information about that in the ‘Extras’ section at the bottom of the dashboard and that will become available on Sunday.

      And remember, Times and Plane are not about “getting it right” – they are tools for you to use in order to make the changes you want to make. By all means try different things out and see what is going to work for you.

      Finally, setting a Time of two hours doesn’t obligate you to eat in two hours time. You could then set another Time if you wanted to.

    • #12462
      Carla
      Participant

      Hi Sophia, Gillian, thank you both so much for your replies. Sophia it’s been really helpful to read through , a few times what you’ve written. Really helped me to understand, I meant to reply sooner but just been a had a lot going on . Gillian too, yes I think I am considering healthier foods and your reply to has been very helpful.

      • This reply was modified 4 months, 4 weeks ago by Carla. Reason: Typos!
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