(Too) many cues

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    • #8062
      Ivana P
      Participant

      Hi Gillian,
      First of all, this course is extraordinary! Totally different than everything I’ve done before. Your webinar is just THAT “something“ I’ve been searching for at least 6-7 years when I finally realized that my problem is not in what and how much I eat and exercise, but in my head. For almost 40 years I’ve tried so many eating plans, weight loss diets, even gestalt therapy… well, it all helped to some extent and I learned many things but did not reach the core of the problem. Now, for the first time I have the feeling that I can clearly see issues and solutions. What I also like very much is that balance between theoretical/research part and practical advices you are offering . Thank you very much!
      While working through desire, I was amazed with the number of cues to eat when not hungry. It turned out that everything can be a cue: my emotions, situations, time of the day, habits, availability of food (even if it’s not too attractive), sometimes even just thinking of food… Well, I still do not react to the bell 🙂
      I’ve impression that now I have suddenly developed a new sense – sense of eating triggers. Previously, I was aware of some, but not all. It’s like a superabundance of cues, and sometimes I find it overwhelming. The intensity of the addictive desire is not too high, it’s more like persistent nagging, but the frequency is the problem. I am a bit confused with „how to choose my battles“. Should I work through desire each and every time it appears, or should I concentrate on my main problem: evening and night eating in this phase? I’d like to know your opinion on it.
      I’d also like to let you know that I’ve had several successful night meetings with my addictive desire (mine has a name; in Serbian – “nesit“, something like “insufficiently satiated”) and I managed to peacefully coexist with it. I was amazed by how easy that was! Thank you for this precious technique!

    • #8064
      Julie Mann
      Participant

      Ivana I loved reading this post! I identify with a lot of it, and also I fully agree that Gillian’s approach is the best one out there!

    • #8065
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Thank you for all of this wonderful feedback, Ivana, and especially for your special word nesit, which I wish I knew how to pronounce!

      As for your question, it’s not a good idea to aim to work through desire each and every time it appears. This can lead to some kind of ‘perfect’ eating, which can then easily tip into an “all-or-none” mindset where you either have 100% control or none at all. So always best to aim for percentages or degrees of success.

      In general, I do think that working with one problematic overeating behaviour at a time is a good way forward, but what you choose to work on is of course very much up to you. As the ideas and techniques I’ve been explaining seem to be clicking well for you, by all means go ahead and use them as much and whenever you want – in an imperfect way.

      You have experienced the effectiveness of “meeting and peacefully coexisting” with your nesit, and that’s the most important thing.

    • #8072
      Ivana P
      Participant

      Hi, Gillian, thank you very much for your answer.
      The word nesit (not in the standard dictionary of my language) is easy to pronounce “ne-” is pronounced like in never, and “-sit” like in sitting.
      As I continue my exercises in working through desire, and it becomes easier and easier. It’s so liberating to know that there one tool that fits all cues!

    • #8073
      Ivana P
      Participant

      One more question, Gillian: what is your time between meals? I usually tend to have three meals, without snacks, though I am not very strict in that sense.
      WOW, is this also prohibitive thinking? I became aware of that just after reading the last sentence I wrote… I did tend to skip snacks because I considered them “dangerous” in terms of increased chance to overeat.

    • #8082
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Ivana,

      The way I understand it is that digestion is one of the most demanding tasks our bodies perform, transforming food into energy, enzymes, hormones, structural elements such as cell membranes, and separating and eliminating waste and toxins. It’s a full-time job, especially when we rarely stop eating.

      With that in mind, it makes sense to me to give our bodies a break now and then, so attention can be taken off digestion and placed on repair and detoxification.

      For this reason, I rarely eat breakfast, going from an evening meal to lunch the next day. But that’s me – not necessarily what’s right for you.

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