- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by Louise.
June 13, 2020 at 3:49 pm #8010Jennifer EParticipant
I have two questions that have been in my head since the live webinar on Sunday.
1. Is there a way to use this concept of sitting with desire (or uncomfortable feelings) to establish a new positive behavior? For example, I really want to start exercising but I have SO MUCH resistance to it. Is there a way to experience the feelings of not wanting to exercise and then going ahead and exercising anyway? I know that the concepts of this course may not apply to this situation at all and that’s fine. I was just wondering.
2. I really get stuck around foods I would consider “virtuous”, like vegetables. It is still overeating but it seems like that should be okay because, they are vegetables after all. But still, I don’t want to eat. It feels like such a gray area. How do I resolve myself that over eating is over eating whether it is a desirable food or not.
June 13, 2020 at 5:21 pm #8012GillianModerator
1. I’m not sure about using the techniques I teach for feeling like you don’t want to do something. This is very much about the “addictive desire” of wanting to do things you regret later on. My only advice about overcoming resistance to establishing exercise is to start small, but the way I resolved that problem was to get a dog.
2. I do think it’s tough to eat less without having identified any downside to the overeating behaviour. So the first thing is to ask yourself why you might want to eat fewer vegetables and what benefit you might gain as a result of eating less of them. In order to get more clarity for yourself about this, you could try eating fewer vegetables to see if it suits you. If there’s no benefit to you, return to eating more of them, as you were before.
Let me know if any of this isn’t clear.
June 14, 2020 at 3:29 pm #8039guadalupeParticipant
I have an issue with exercising also.. I´ve started doing stretching in the morning. Or something like that. You have 10min rutines of yoga or stretching in youtube, also you have them to it in bed. And sometimes I do them at night before sleeping. There are also joint movements routines of 10min that you move your entire body. With this 10min routines maybe you feel that you have done something. 10min is more than 0min. Is what I tell myself..
And another thing that I´ve realized about doing exercise, is that I wanted to do it to weight loss and modify the shape and size of my body. Not because I feel stronger when I do it, or for example, I can walk and talk at the same time without feeling I cant do both because I run out of breathe.
Also I´ve realized that when I do exercise with some instagram or youtube account that have a thin and toned body it makes me feel bad with myself. I start to compare, and think that she can do that because she is thin and I cant because Im fat. And no because its her work and maybe she exercises 5hours a day 6 days a week. And I do it 10minutes somedays a week… And also that videos made me think even more about weightloss and that circle of thinking in dieting and that. Ive realized this once I did a stretching class with a video of a guy. i didn´t compare myself at all, and I enjoy the exercise.
So once I ve realized that, Ive started to whatch videos of fat people exercising. So when I see her doing something I cant do it, for example a yoga position, or 10 repetitions of some exercise. I know and I tell myself that I cant do it no because Im fat, I cant do it just because I dont try it everyday… Im not used to do that movements.
Is like when someone else do something you dont (painting, cooking, or whatever) is not because the shape and weight of your body doesnt allows you to do it and you will be able to do it if you lose 10kg or xxkg. Its just because you are not used to do that activity.
June 18, 2020 at 12:38 am #8090Erin HParticipant
I also wanted to weigh in on the exercise piece because I have been able to turn exercise into something I love and look forward to (as opposed to something I used to make myself do!) and it’s made a huge difference in my mental and physical health. Changing my MOTIVATION was the most important thing for me when making an exercise program stick! By noticing the immediate benefits and focusing on those, exercise became so much less of a chore. My biggest motivations are: the mood lift that I get immediately after which generally lasts a good chunk of the day and seeing measurable improvements in my strength/abilities (i.e. I can now lift 10 lbs instead of 12, walk 1.5 miles in 20 minutes when it used to take me 22 minutes, or do 30 jumping jacks in a row instead of 25….)
When I focus on wanting to feel good and how good I will feel after, I WANT to go. The reward is tangible and almost immediate. It also changes my frame of mind during the exercise… I’m not thinking that I need to go harder to work off that piece of cake or because I am too heavy. I’m thinking I need to get my heart rate up higher so I can get those endorphins!
I also found some very supportive and fun communities of women in my area at local fitness studios, which makes it fun to go to classes where you can build off others’ energy, but that is a bonus and not important for starting out. I hope some part of this is helpful 🙂
June 19, 2020 at 12:36 pm #8120LouiseParticipant
That sounds really nice Erin. My older sister did Couch to 5 k and really enjoyed it – similar thing with the community. I think Park Runs are really encouraging too.
In answer to Jennifer, though, I would say that the desire to exercise more may come as your self-esteem improves through eating less. I certainly found this. Although I walk quite a lot (I have three dogs), when I feel low, I don’t walk them; they just go in the garden. That can go on for weeks at a time, when I feel so low I don’t want to go out at all.
However, one of the non-weight motivations I have noticed is that when I eat less, I feel more positive about going out and walking, and I have more energy to do that. As a consequence, I have been walking with my dogs a bit more than usual, and finding it physically easier to do that because I am not feeling bloated, headachey or tired as a result of overeating. So for example, I sometimes do an extra walk in the evening with them now, which I never did before, especially if they have already been for a walk earlier in the day
So you may find that as your energy increases, and you start to feel better, you will just naturally want to take more exercise, in whatever form that comes.
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