May 9, 2020 at 11:48 pm #6274Aimee FParticipant
Gillian, I’m doing pretty well since finishing the course. I’ve been very focused on asserting my choice and “changing my thought channels” to always remind myself that I can have anything I want and I’m not “locked up”. I’m not bingeing which is a nice change and I can’t remember how long since I’ve been able to go this long without bingeing so that’s awesome! All by literally reminding myself it’s my choice.
Now..I’m not eating great though and have not been working with the desire/sugary choices/extra helpings though. I guess I’m just trying to focus on one thing at a time. I’m very happy (for now) just to have put the brakes on the bingeing.
I do have a concern though…I have some great non-weight motivation so that’s not an issue. BUT, I do see myself in the mirror and see myself wearing the biggest sizes I’ve ever worn and I am the biggest I’ve ever been. I just don’t know how to ignore that and not put attention on it? It’s not my main motivation but I do desperately want to be a smaller size at some point. When I zip up my pants and notice they are tight, i cant’ help but think I need to lose weight which mentally makes me want to start dieting, which almost immediately makes me feel deprived….
Since I don’t want to get on that vicious cycle again, I’ve been just not thinking about my weight and “switching my thought channels” when I start with negative talk but at some point before I die, I’d like to lose weight and I just don’t know how without immediate deprivation/diet thoughts! In other words, I’ve got maintenance down pretty good and if I don’t binge ever again, I probably wont gain any more weight which is great. But..I am BY FAR not at a healthy weight.
ummmmm?? any advice anyone?
May 10, 2020 at 2:53 am #6275Julie MannParticipant
I don’t have advice per se. Will leave that to our amazing expert Gillian.
I will say this. I was in a 3 month binge period from Jan -Mar and I spent April just not binging. I focused on non-weight motivation and for sure felt pretty uncomfortable in my body. But I decided that my number one priority was not binging and breaking that habit for good. And during that time I stopped gaining and held steady at a higher weight but at least I was no longer gaining. Sounds a bit like what you have described. I worked through the discomfort with my body and switched my attention to how great I felt not binging, etc.
In May I felt ready to eat less. And that is when I started working with desire again. So I take less food and expect an addictive desire for more and move on, knowing that it’s my choice, that I’m choosing to accept desire as a trade off for eating less and feeling better and ultimately eventually losing some weight slowly.
I think it’s wonderful that you’ve been maintaining and not binging, is I guess what I’m saying. And that perhaps it’s about one stage at a time and really honoring the improvements and the fact that you are both not binging and not gaining for now!
- This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by Julie Mann.
May 10, 2020 at 3:22 am #6278LeslieParticipant
Hi Aimee, I agree with Julie that it’s wonderful and really significant you’re not binging or it’s feeling so different than in the past – hooray! Also, it makes so much sense that this is a process with everything not happening at once. Times and Plans, working with addictive desire and trying hard to not spin out into the future and feel afraid of losing control or not changing fast enough – those are my main themes! 🙂 Being a support to ourselves as we go through this process can be the hardest part I think. Take care, Leslie
May 10, 2020 at 2:57 pm #6281GillianKeymaster
What more could I add, Aimee? These are great comments from Julie and Leslie. I encourage you to stay with what you’ve done so far. The next course starts a week from today, so why not just take that as it comes and see what happens?
May 10, 2020 at 4:15 pm #6283Julie MannParticipant
Love all of this discussion and look forward to starting again next week!!
May 10, 2020 at 5:10 pm #6284Aimee FParticipant
amazing advice! Thank you everyone. It is like 2 different issues in a way…the stopping the binge train and then working on desire and eventually getting my body where it needs to be. I just need to be patient and not rush things. I mean, I’ve been bingeing for 30 years so I shouldn’t expect things to happen overnight!
Thank you all so much
May 11, 2020 at 7:19 am #6287GillianKeymaster
And when it’s time to move forward a bit, Aimee, you might want to take a look at “Your Food and Your Health” in the Extras section.
As you read that through, consider what you’re eating on a regular basis and ask yourself what is the least healthy behaviour (in terms of quality, quantity and/or frequency) that you might consider changing – one thing at a time, using the techniques and concepts you’ve learned here.
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