using the excuse of not starting yet

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    • #11824
      Sheelagh M
      Participant

      Hi Gillian, before starting the course my pattern is; a number of weeks sticking with the keto/carnivore way of eating, losing weight and feeling fantastic physically, no joint pain, back pain massively improved, asthma much improved, no reflux, so much energy, feeling in control and peaceful etc etc. Then I invariably ‘fall off the wagon’. Just when I thought I had found the way of eating that got rid of all my cravings and made me calm down around food, then I realised I cant actually stick to this either, and the more strictly I stick to this way of eating the more spectacularly I end up binging. This was a pretty frightening place to be, and thats why I’m here doing the course. I have done the course work for week one and two and I wanted to share that I am SO relieved to understand that I have developed a prohibitive mindset around keto/carnivore and that is why I fall off the wagon, I think I ‘have to’ eat this way and that I’m not choosing it. I know it will take a while to weave this into my thinking about food. I have a question about my mindset right now. Even though I’ve had this insight and feel this relief, I seem to be intentionally not trying to eat well, and I’m telling myself there’s no point in ‘starting’ to engage with myself around choice etc until we reach week 3. So I seem to be trying to get as much over eating in as I can before I ‘start doing it properly’. Any suggestions of what I should say to myself to try ‘get started’ as such?

    • #11825
      Lesley
      Participant

      Me too Sheelagh!

      Like you I’ve been doing well on low carb recently but I have still been overeating which is why I why I decided to joined the course (although I have always wanted to do this). Since joining I’ve gone free fall -my brain telling me “well its ok, you will sort this all out in a couple of weeks”!!

      Lesley xx

      • #11827
        Sheelagh M
        Participant

        Yes thats exactly what I’m telling myself Lesley! I’m so frustrated with myself!

    • #11840
      Sophia G.
      Participant

      Hi Lesley and Sheelagh, I don’t know if this of complete relevance really, but I did the Atkins in the past, twice.. pretty successfully both times, especially the 1st time. And it was very good at reining in my appetite. BUT ultimately that was just my physical cravings that were reined in, not my addictions and longing for ‘other’ foodstuffs. Now I can’t bear to do a LC diet again, or any diet. I put on all the weight again and more. These ways of eating didn’t address my real issues at all, just like Gillian says. Perhaps it even just complicates things, tho it all seemed good while I was ‘successful’. One good thing is, I do remember the lovely feeling of lightness inside my body, when I was eating less on the Atkins, inside my belly I suppose, and I am trying to remember that lovely lightness in my motivation now to eating less.

      • This reply was modified 3 months ago by Sophia G.. Reason: Typo
      • #11855
        Sheelagh M
        Participant

        Yes Sophia i think what you’re saying is very relevant, I relate. Although the low carb way of eating does really stop alot of my inflammation symptoms so I feel much better, and stops the cravings temporarily, it hasn’t addressed my sugar addiction.I also do enjoy the feeling you describe as “light”. I think for me its feeling not stuffed, no bloating after eating. Its so nice compared to feeling so full I feel ill.

      • #11871
        Sophia G.
        Participant

        Hi Sheelagh, Sorry 4 this late reply! I’m glad you recognise and relate to that feeling of ‘lightness’. I guess it was because my belly was so empty, as you say, but it felt more than that, more than just an absence of ‘stuffed-ness’. It felt almost non-physical. I look forward to having those experiences again !! Without the Atkins, for me anyway. :-))

    • #11842
      Gillian
      Moderator

      “I’m telling myself there’s no point in ‘starting’ to engage with myself around choice etc until we reach week 3. So I seem to be trying to get as much over eating in as I can before I ‘start doing it properly’.”

      Sheelagh, it will be best for you to choose the overeating you are doing and remember you can continue to do that.

      You seem to think that “starting to engage with myself around choice etc” means you will no longer overeat. That’s your denial of your future choices and you are in rebellion against that.

      More on this on Sunday.

      • #11856
        Sheelagh M
        Participant

        Okay thanks Gillian, yes I see that I’m putting off engaging in it as I think that I will not be able to overeat once I do. So I will ‘choose’ the overeating, and say to myself I am completely free to keep doing this, I can overeat throughout the whole course and beyond if I want to

    • #11849
      guadalupe
      Participant

      Hi! It happened the same to me when I´ve started the course for the first time in may. Maybe it happens because we see it as a diet, or a method to lose weight, the course in general. So it is how on a mental level we see it as that later we will restrict or control the overeating, so now I can eat, because “on Monday I start and I will do it perfect.”

      I think it is super important to know that it is very likely that in the course for the 1st time we will only learn things but we cannot put much into practice, obviously this depends on each person, and I think in large part this depends on how attached to losing weight you are.
      It’s like learning a language, you learn phrases, words and so on, but you can’t speak and understand everything after 6 weeks. I think this is the same, it is a learning process, in which something new is learned and internalized every day, a new way of thinking and seeing things. Even if we do not see the result in practice, we are starting to think different. And one very important thing is to forget the weight, the scale, the body. I never thought that this would be so relevant when it comes to putting what is learned here into practice.

      • #11857
        Sheelagh M
        Participant

        Hi Guadalupe, thank you this is very helpful. When I did the course before i did not fully integrate and internalize the new ways of thinking.So logically I know his will take time and it is not a quick fix, but my desperation to loose weight is still there at the moment. But I think you are right… for me anyway I have been thinking of it as a ‘diet’ to loose weight. It will be hard to try to detach from losing weight as i see it as such a marker of poor health. This is where i will really need to tune in to my non weight related benefits. But yes i can see that forgetting about the body appearance and weight is important. It feels a little bit impossible right now but I know that to keep weaving the new way of thinking about food in to my mind is the way to bring this about

      • #11890
        guadalupe
        Participant

        Hello! I’m glad it served you! It was also hard for me to stop thinking about losing weight, and to stop thinking that thin equals healthy. Because the truth is that it is not. If I start a crazy shake diet tomorrow, I will surely lose weight, but will I be healthier than I am today? Probably not. Because those radical diets, yes, they make you lose weight but that is not healthy. It’s just weighing less. You lose weight, which you do not maintain over time.

        Try to start watching people in the street and think if you can say something about their health just by looking their body, no, we can´t. We can only say its fat, its thin. Nothing else.. And we don´t nothing about their health at all. I used to have a boyfriend that his body was the tipical fit instagramer with 6-pack and all that. And yes, if you see him and me at the beach, the one judged as “unhealthy” was me, because Im +20kilos. But the truth is that I was the healthy one, and he was the “unhealthy”, because he had diabetes 1 over 20 years, kidney and vision problems. So? I would like to have that body? No thanks, mine is healthier.

        It is changing the way you see things, thin is not equal to healthy, and fat is not equal to sick. That is what the media, doctors and everything, society in general, make us believe every day; and that is what has led us to distort ourselves so much with the body, the image and the relationship with food.

        It has helped me a lot to find information about body acceptance, body image, bodypositive, haes, all that. Also, I still want to lose weight, but my focus is not 100% on it. It’s like I balance the balance between weight and no weight motivation.

      • #11891
        Sheelagh M
        Participant

        Makes so much sense Guadalupe thank you

      • #11892
        Nune
        Participant

        Hi Gillian although I have joined the course it’s been a tricky couple of weeks with commitments which has meant I am way behind. I have only just finished watching your introductory session so don’t want to join live till I have caught up which is achievable now my commitments are less. Would you say that’s ok to do. Hope to join you live by next week. I am optimistic and looking forward to what’s ahead. Thank you

      • #11927
        Gillian
        Moderator

        Yes, of course it’s fine, Nune.

        No problem, and hope you find the material thought-provoking.

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