What Can I get Away With?

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    • #8710

      I have a question about this idea, which came up in another thread as relevant to a number of you.

      My question is, do you think this is really about weight-based motivation?

      In other words, “what can I get away with and still fit into my jeans?” (or whatever is your weight-based measure of success).

    • #8711

      “What can I get away with?”–is this “really about weight-based motivation”?

      If I’m being honest with myself, I guess it is. Which I hadn’t thought about!!

      I think the morning after overeating, there’s a part of me that’s like, “well, my pants still fit and I haven’t gained weight (even if I have stopped weighing myself), so it can’t be too big of a problem!”.
      Or, during the moment thinking to myself “how much can I eat without making it too big of a problem?”

      I’m going to think about this. Thanks for bringing it up, Gillian.

    • #8712

      Hi Gillian, I think as I may already have said, I previously underplayed non-weight based motivation when following your approach, but the online course has really made me focus strongly on this as an area of weakness for me.

      The more I engage in the method, the less it is about my weight and size. I very rarely think about my weight these days, and I realise that all this time, it was the overeating that upset me, not the weight per se, although that is also unpleasant of course.

      What I find now is that I have just become accustomed to noticing non-weight benefits, and tuning into how I feel afterwards when I have overeaten – how I feel, not what I might weigh! So I suppose in conclusion, I’d say that while I started the course feeling very conscious and worried about my size and weight, my attention has gone elsewhere, so I am thinking more about what I eat, whether I enjoy my food, what immediate effect certain foods have on me. The next step for me is being normal around food, and not having to dwell on it as much as I (necessarily) do at the moment.

      I can add that although I never weigh myself, I probably have lost weight over the past few months, but as I am wearing the same loose clothes and not really spending any time considering my weight, it doesn’t really figure in the conversations I have in my head about food. I would even say it really doesn’t interest me any more: I am much more interested in trying new ways of cooking, new ingredients and new tastes.

    • #8714
      Julie Mann

      Hi Gillian,
      Yes, for me it’s weight based motivation sneaking its ugly head. Good call!
      It’s totally that thought, how much can I eat and still fit into my clothing.
      You are so good at spotting this!

    • #8715
      Julie Mann

      Louise!!! Wow!! Wow!!!

      Your journey, your evolution, it’s so inspiring!

      And I just love that you are tuning into how you feel when/if you overeat. That’s been a biggie for me. It always helps me redirect to the non weight motivation, which I also have to add has become my primary motivator.

      • This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Julie Mann.
    • #8717
      Renée L

      Hello Gillian and Everyone!

      For me, “What Can I get Away With?” is definitely tied to weight-based motivation. However, I have also noticed it creep into my mindset when I feel deprived, and I also see it as a source of rebellion…that I will rebel against myself/my rules/my goals (even if my goals are healthy).

      But, in essence, yes, for me (or maybe unbeknownst to me) that “What Can I get Away With?” stems from diet mentality or following some sort of eating plan/nutritional theory and is tied to wanting to lose weight.

      How will I address this? I have been thinking of this and am open to ideas others may have, but I think my starting point is to use these thoughts and catch them when they are happening and question them. From there I can challenge them and see if they are true. As I have said before, Gillian’s concepts are COMPLETELY new and will take time to incorporate into my mindset.

      Gillian, you have talked before in the past about our “default thinking/acting”; can you shed some light on this particular area of thinking. Might it be my default thinking after so many years of dieting/trying to diet/and putting the focus on my weight? And can you also suggest ways to challenge this particular thought?

      Thank you!

    • #8718

      Renee, I completely relate and agree that these are default thoughts from former years of dieting.

      Not so long as even a couple weeks ago I was signed up with a “macro coach” who taught me that eating is a game of numbers and to play with them to see how much you can get for how little.

      So I think I’m less concerned about the weight, but I do have the thinking of “how MUCH can I eat to make as little of negative impact”.

      I mean, their whole focus is to “save up macros for a nighttime dessert, etc.”

      I’m over it. I’m so grateful I have found this understanding. It’s so counter-culture, but truly the only lasting and REAL thing out there.

    • #8719

      Louise, thank you for sharing. This is wonderful to see your evolution.

    • #8720
      Julie Mann

      Liz this is huge! You are so over it and you are seeing your way to a new way. Renee I so agree that these are deeply ingrained habits and it takes constant reflection/attention to truly change. AND I fully believe we all can!

    • #8721


      You are asking me to suggest some ways to challenge this particular thought of, “What can I get away with?”

      It will be best for me to speak about that in the webinar on Sunday. I’ll begin with it as don’t have any other questions right now.

      Webinar will be on the site on Monday if you’re not able to be with us live.

    • #8722
      Renée L

      Thank you, Gillian!

      Looking forward to Sunday!

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