August 2, 2020 at 10:48 pm #8890Anna PParticipant
What to you guys tell yourself when you notice AD is looming? I found particularly interesting reminding me that I am free… not to eat! because sometimes I feel AD more as an obligation to eat rather than an attraction to eat something. It’s releasing knowing I am not obliged to eat if I don’t want to but this hasn’t refrain my AD to come back later on or another day.
I’ll read your strategies with interest.
August 2, 2020 at 11:35 pm #8891
August 3, 2020 at 1:17 am #8892Anne MarieParticipant
I’m following this too. I could really use some examples. Have been giving in to my AD this week. Thx for bringing this up.
August 3, 2020 at 10:45 am #8893SianParticipant
Hello Anna P
When I feel my AD looming, I remind myself that I can change my brain by choosing not to eat right now (knowing I can always change my mind later).
I sing my little schoolboy chant to myself “I’m changing my bra-in, I’m changing my bra-in”.
As Pavlov trained his dogs to salivate when the bell rang, like us receiving our own cues for eating more food than we need, after the experiment he also trained them to NOT salivate or expect food when the bell rang too. He completely reversed this ‘cue-expectation-eating’ training. So my thoughts are that if he and his dogs could do it, so can I.
This is what helps me to choose the not over eating option.
I’d like to think there is some neuroplasticity left in this ole’ dog yet 🙂 ha ha
August 3, 2020 at 11:04 am #8894LouiseParticipant
Great idea for a thread Anna. I wanted to share a discovery I’ve made recently as a result of listening to the mp3.
When my AD appears, I have always in the past thought of my choice as choosing either to satisfy my desire by eating, or choosing not to eat. This has worked ok, but not long ago I realised that ‘not eat’ is a negative choice and brings me close to compliance and ‘not allowed’. On the mp3, Gillian talks about choosing to feel and experience the AD, instead of choosing to eat or not eat.
Choosing the unpleasant feeling of desire instead of satisfying it feels very different to me than choosing not to eat. It seems like just semantics, but it has been a breakthrough for me.
I give myself time to really physically experience my AD. A lot of the feeling is in my mouth, a really strong desire for texture, taste etc. And I remind myself that it’s a trade-off – if I am willing to feel this and not run away from it, I’ll reach my goal of eating less. Whenever I think that, the AD doesn’t seem half so bad or scary, and I realise that by feeling those moments of unpleasantness I free myself from overeating, without feeling deprived.
Would love to hear other experiences of what people do when they become aware of their AD.
- This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Louise.
August 3, 2020 at 8:54 pm #8896
Sian this is such a great reminder. Every time we have AD and don’t eat, we are changing our brain!! I love your song!
Louise I Love your focus on the positive, that you are choosing to accept your AD, and then that you go into the body to truly experience it.
August 4, 2020 at 11:35 am #8898guadalupeParticipant
I tell myself that is what I used to do, I used to felt an AD and satisfy it with food. I remember myself that now I am aware and see if at that moment I want it or not, I choose. I postpone it. And I say no, I don’t have to respond to this urge now and eat. I can do it later.
For example yesterday I want some cheese and honey, and I said ok, I will eat it but then. And I was able to contain that urge in that moment, feeling salivation and breathing to do not eat it at that moment. And then I ate quietly, it was my choice.
August 5, 2020 at 2:07 pm #8899Renée LParticipant
Such a timely topic as I have been re-listening to the modules on Desire.
For me, my AD is very predictable, so when it “pops up” is almost like clock work; I can anticipate its arrival and decide in the moment what to do: satisfy it or work it through?
Last night after dinner as I was stacking the dishwasher, I noticed the “motor in my head” started running. At first I tried to ignore it (old behavior) and after 5 minutes when it didn’t go away, I decided to leave the kitchen and “work it through”. I sat down in another room, and listened to the MP3 on Desire. All it took was listening to that for 6 minutes for my “motor” to shut down. Amazing, right? Plus Gillian’s voice is so soothing and reassuring.
I then decided that the dishes could wait and I stayed there and spent some time rehearsing the most meaningful aspects of working through desire, which is that I am changing my brain, and taking control, while reminding myself that feeling the intensity of the desire won’t hurt me. That it is a healing feeling. This is what I love about the concept the most; that in experiencing the desire and working it through, I am healing myself. Such a gentle way to approach this, since I used to fight it and would more often than not lose the battle!
- This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by Renée L.
August 7, 2020 at 4:15 pm #8947LizParticipant
Renee, this is inspiring, how you work through your desire. Thank you for sharing the details.
After dinner, my desire is at a 10! And I justify giving in because I haven’t eat “THAT” much all day.
But I’m not hungry. And it’s the addictive desire, especially for addictive foods.
I like comparing it to a “MOTOR”. It for sure feels like a MOTOR to me!
My motor turns on strong and I feel relief once I’ve turned it off (overeaten).
Thanks for pointing out the aspects of working thru desire: changing my brain, taking control, and realizing the desire can’t hurt me.
August 7, 2020 at 4:32 pm #8948
Renee I love that you see it as a healing feeling, sometimes I say to myself, “I’m changing my brain, I’m breaking free” when I’m in the process. It’s so good to see it as something loving we are doing for ourselves.
August 18, 2020 at 4:42 am #8988Julia RParticipant
Renée, yes your comments are so inspirational! “Feeling the desire won’t hurt me” and reminding us to use the MP3! And stopping in your tracks when the AD does not go away and engaging in self-care, going to a quiet place and pulling out the MP3 tool.
I appreciate Sian’s comment—Pavlov’s dogs were able to reverse their response to the bell and we can too!
Louise, thanks for insight about choosing to feel and experience the AD vs. eating/not eating. Again, the MP3 has value for us!
Liz, I also am so good at justifying why I need to give in to my AD. I could become weak or pass out from lack of food!
I have been struggling the last few days. Thanks for this thread Anna and ALL the comments!
August 18, 2020 at 2:43 pm #8989LouiseParticipant
That’s the beauty of the forum Julia! It makes such a difference when we can support each other and know we are all on a similar journey. I had never ever spoken about my overeating to anyone before I joined the course.
Also a suggestion – if I’m ever struggling, I go right back to the webinar on motivation. In the past, I took my motivation for granted (‘of course I want to control my eating and feel healthier’), but I have found revisiting motivation helps me to avoid compliance, feeling resentful and ending in rebellion. Writing down my non weight motivation always gets me back to why I’m choosing this way of eating, and how much I benefit from that.
August 18, 2020 at 2:44 pm #8990LizParticipant
Julia, I’m sorry you have been struggling. I GET IT. Me too–my a/d gives me all the justifications at night to give into it. I am noticing and paying attention to it but still giving in. 🙁
I’m trying to not beat myself up about it, but getting curious about it.
Have a good day and keep loving yourself through the process!
August 18, 2020 at 4:31 pm #8991
Julia thank you for posting here and for sharing your truth.
Louise, I too go right back to webinar 1 and remind myself of my non weight motivation which I can experience immediately.
And Liz, curiosity is always the way. I love that this is your focus.
We are stronger together and so grateful for this community.
August 18, 2020 at 5:55 pm #8992Julia RParticipant
Thanks Julie, I always appreciate your insight. You are the cheerleader with Pom poms! Liz, I am curious about it all. Scheduled a one on one this week to hopefully understand it better. Stay tuned for that insight. Louise, I think you are spot on going back to Motivation. I was feeling lost and did not know where to put my energy to find my way.
Special thanks to all of you!
August 18, 2020 at 6:34 pm #8993
Julia LOL, I’ll take that role gladly. Go team ELO go! 😉
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