What if I have the ability to maintain control in an imperfect and flexible way?

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 months ago by Sophia G..
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    • #14568
      Ann C
      Participant

      I am REALLY loving this course. I get these moments of clarity and ” Aha” moments. The title phrase from last week’s homework “What if I have the ability to maintain control in an imperfect and flexible way?” is truly, for me, my wish from a genie in a bottle. It is what I yearn for ( and have for many years) I feel like an accomplished 58 year old woman, but could NEVER get a handle on my binge eating.

      I feel like I am finding my way. It’s about ” sitting with” these addictive desires and then retraining my thoughts to how I would feel if I ate it.

      The sense of control I have been feeling…..because I have choices, literally makes me almost tear up. I have NEVER felt like this.

      Sorry so dramatic, but I just can’t believe it!

      Ann

    • #14570
      Cyndi B.
      Participant

      I am SO happy for you, Ann! I’m in awe myself for similar reasons as you. I can’t believe our good fortune of having author, teacher, creator, Gillian personally coach us through this.

      The word control in relating to eating was negative to me prior to the course, like I was ashamed that I needed to control my food impulses, or that self control was limited, so a ticking time bomb, so scary. But I experience it differently now- such as recognizing the undeniable positive feeling I have with stepping into a place of control… but I do prefer to use “in charge”, that just feels closer to my experience.

      Thanks for sharing about your relief and joy!

    • #14571
      Sophia G.
      Participant

      Yes. That so much resonates with me, Ann C. It’s a revelation.

      For me, I see this method as being lots of techniques built around truths that I recognise once they have been pointed out (tho sometimes I had to work with them a lot before recognising them as truths.)

      The techniques are all a series of steps, which lead me step by step.

      Instead of the Huge Terrifying Monster I can see it is not that at all. It is manageeable and overcome-able. When I or others misunderstand or get confused or twist things, Gillian pounces and points out IN DETAIL, STEP BY STEP,where we have gone wrong.

      The monster is no longer there, although I still overeat to some extent, at various times. But I see it’s not a monster now, and I have a good handle on what to do.

      And am tackling more overeating scenarios as time goes on. I have been a victim of habits, and the world has not helped me with it. Quite the opposite, as so many people have different confusions, plus the food industries and the diet industries deliberately connived to take my money and keep me enslaved.

      So I feel and am liberated.

      Today I had three quarters of a high quality chocolate bar which I bought this morning knowing I would eat it soon. After half i wanted more, and I felt a bit bad but I had a bit more. After eating three-quarters, I thought that was enough, and I put the rest in the food recycling bin where I won’t want to rescue it later. And I feel completely satisfied about that, in my body actually as well as my mind. I’d never have believed it !

      (Oddly, I don’t personally like the word ‘control’ but it comes to the same thing. I am not controlled – or less, anyway. Still in progress. It’s been a while now. It is good & continuing progress.)

      This method of Gillian’s is more than inspirational for me – it is actively working and I’m sure will continue to work. I do the work, and it gets easier, and also as I go over the material again and again (I’m doing tis online course for the 2nd time) I hear more helpful details at the right time for me.

      Personally, I don’t really believe in ‘inspiration’ any more, as it has failed me in various areas of my life, when it turned out to be lacking or downright on the wrong track. I want proven things, substantial things, that time will tell etc. Although I’m also willing to give things a go and see if they prove true later down the line, but I’m far less gullible than when I was younger. I’m a similar age to you, Ann C, in fact I’m slightly older, so I have also suffered from the Monster for many, many years.

      Hooray that we have found this way through. We are surely allowed to be a bit ‘dramatic’ about it all!

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