Why weight loss fixation leads to relapse

[Julie Mann]

Dear Gillian,

I have fallen into a binge eating relapse, as I have done in the past.
I heard you say (again) in the session 6 lessons, that one reason for relapse is a fixation on weight loss.
I do my best to redirect towards all the non scale benefits of eating less such as my energy, mood, digestion, sleep, money saved, feelings of integrity, etc.

However, this last time through, I did lose weight. And I did get excited about it. I’m not sure how not to.

And after several binge relapses, I’ve put on some of the weight I lost, which sends me into feelings of panic.

I’d love to understand more about why this desire/excitement around weight loss invariable causes relapse.

Thank you!

[Leslie]

Hi Julie, I just want to say (while we’re waiting for the Gillian response!:) hang in there! and I relate to how hard and discouraging it can feel. I’m trying most of all to remind myself of the learning curve and that mistakes will happen. I am practicing over and over. Anyway, the perspective is easy for me to see when it’s you describing your experience rather than me living mine!😊 Thanks for your post. Leslie

[Gillian]

I’m thinking this will be better for me to talk about in a webinar – either Session 6 on Sunday if I have time or even better our Q&A on March 15th.

BUT, the answer really is there in “1.3 Motivation: The Problem”. Excitement around weight loss = prioritising weight loss as motivation behind your eating choices. I go through those problems in the slides in that video.

The reason it’s such a powerful trap is because it’s a huge cultural mindset issue. I doubt that we can even begin to imagine what it would be like to live in a world where our worth is never – and never has been – judged on our appearance.

[Julie Mann]

Thank you Leslie and Gillian!! I’ll revisit that class and Leslie your words of support and wonderful.

[Leslie]

The weight loss thing is still really interesting and sometimes problematic for me. In theory, I really understand that non weight outcomes need to be primary or in balance with wanting to weigh less. Where I get fuzzy is that I also (at least a bit) buy into these statements: I want to eat less so I lose weight and feel lighter/I want to eat less so I lose weight and feel better putting clothes on.

Gillian, how do you hear those statements?

I think one of the strongest non weight benefits I’m getting in touch with is ‘I want to be able to set an intention and follow through, I want to feel that self control and awareness.’

Does that sound too general? I’m going back to basics right now!

[Gillian]

Leslie, I’d think these statements are about weight loss:
I want to eat less so I lose weight and feel lighter/I want to eat less so I lose weight and feel better putting clothes on.

But that balance of your motivation is best known by you and nobody else – including me.

Maybe what’s best is to see how things go, how you do over time, and if you lose weight and then begin to overeat, you take a look at that and troubleshoot using what you’ve learned on this course.

[Leslie]

Thanks, Gillian. Feeling lighter is so powerful. Maybe a non-weight motivation is the feeling lighter that comes from listening to myself and feeling good in my choices, or following through on an intention, or
taking a stand and really keeping it in mind – all of these help me to feel ‘lighter’ – and that can be independent of numbers and scales. I’ll work on developing that!

[Author]

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